Peer pressure

Peer relationships take on added significance as youngsters approach adolescence. The term "peers" includes those in approximately the same chronological age and/or developmental stage. Self-esteem becomes more tied up in relations to others outside the nuclear family as a young person's social network expands. A struggle with conflicting pressures - the desire to be liked versus the will toward autonomous se If-respect (to "do the right thing") - can feel overwhelming to a developing youth. Peer pressure has a particularly strong influence on teenagers who are inexperienced at interacting in a social support network. Coming out of the cocoon of a rigid, closed nuclear family system for the first time, a young person who has had relatively little experience asserting himself or herself will probably fall into difficult situations.

Parents can best hope to maximize the positive impact and minimize the negative influences of peers by maintaining open channels of communication. In addition, with adult encouragement to engage 1n a w1de variety of soc1al actities, teens may be more likely to choose associates which most closely approximate their self-image and aspirations. Alignment of self-concept and self-ideal is one indicator of healthy emotional adjustment. Teenagers who receive positive, encouraging messages from their parents may feel best about themselves, and find it easiest to be healthily assertive in relating to peers.

Dinkmey & McKay (1990) point out that few things will be more discouraging to a youngster than a parent's concern with status and prestige. Rather than communicating over-ambitious messages, it parents are urged to find ways to encourage their children, and build self-esteem. "Positive expectations and encouragement go hand in hand. Encouraging parents value teens as they are. They don't burden teenagers with negative with negative expectations or demand that they improve. Some of the methods that encouragers use include showing faith, building respect, recognizing effort and improvement, and focusing on strengths and assets," these- authors assert.

Conventional wisdom or common sense tells us that someone who has a strong sense of self worth will be likely to choose similar peers. Likewise, a confident teenager will find it easier to "just say no" when faced with a negative peer pressure.

REFERENCE

Dinkmeyer, O. McKay, G. (199). Parenting Teenagers: Systematic training for effective parenting of teens, Circle Pines, Minn.: American Guidance Service.

Thomas S. Rue, M.A., NCC
March 18, 1991

The University of Iowa - College of Education
Psychological and Quantitative Foundations 31:163
The Adolescent and Young Adult

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